I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
