Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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