just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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