My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
