I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
