??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
