They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
