nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
