I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
