I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
