I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
