normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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