Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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