how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
