Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
