But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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