What did we do last night that was yellow?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
