I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
whose parrot is this?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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