It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
