I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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