He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
