This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You were trust falling into bushes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
