I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
