Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
