You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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