It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
