Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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