New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
