found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
