Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
