so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
