The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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