I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
