Having a random hookup so left but love u
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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