I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
