And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
