Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
