i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize