I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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