Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
