are you still at the devil's house?
youre lurking in front of me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
