You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
