so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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