New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
