I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i already hear my dad disowning me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
