Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
