i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
