you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
