Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
