you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
