wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
