And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
